Planning your wedding is an exciting time with lots of fun decisions to make. You may have been planning your wedding since you were little, knowing just what colors you wanted, food you were going to serve and songs you wanted played at the reception.
Now that the planning is in full swing and your dreams are becoming reality, lots of other opinions start popping up in the form of phone calls, texts and emails.
Suddenly everyone has an opinion of how your wedding should be. So, how do you keep wedding meddlers at bay and still have the wedding you have always wanted?
Here are a few tips that may help.
Be respectful but firm
Wedding meddlers often come in the form of well meaning and well intentioned moms, aunts, grandmas, soon-to-be mother-in-laws and other family members. They simply want to help and truly want you and your fiancé to be happy. However, that can come across as pushy and overbearing. So be respectful but be firm with them. Let them know that you appreciate their excitement and willingness to help get ready for your big day. By being positive and appreciative, they may be more receptive to what you want and willing to take direction.
Communicative …. A LOT
If you have a family member or friend that you see has a stresser in the wedding planning process, talk to them! Be open, honest and straightforward (but kind) about what you have in mind for your wedding and how it may not line up with what they seem to think you need. Help them understand that this day is about you and your spouse-to-be. This can be uncomfortable, but doing so early on in the planning process can avoid sticky situations as the big day draws near. And you may have to have “the talk” more than once, possibly with more than one person. If it is someone from your fiancé’s side of the family make sure they are part of the conversation as well.
Tell what they CAN do
This post may just seem like different ways of saying no to everyone in your family, but there is a way to make you AND wedding meddlers happy. Give them something to do! Find something on your wedding list and you and your fiancé really don’t care that much about or have much interest in planning and give that to the family member or a friend who desperately wants to help. Maybe it’s the table settings, or wedding favors. Maybe you don’t want your mom to come dressing shopping with you so instead invite her to look at venues or sample cakes. Divert the “nos” into other jobs or tasks that allow them to be a part of the process while not taking over.
Listen to their ideas
Lastly, if you look at your wedding meddlers as people who love you, care about you and want you to be happy, then give them the benefit of the doubt and listen to them. It will cost nothing but your time and you may find a nugget of a good idea you may want to include. Don’t dismiss the years of experience moms, aunts and grandmas have and have an open mind as they tell you what and why they think you should do or include. The neighbor that you haven’t seen in years and wouldn’t dream of inviting to your wedding, may have helped your parents out during a tough time and they want to include them in this celebration of not only you but of their whole family. You may decide to pass on what they are suggesting but allowing them to be heard will make them feel respected.